Reflecting beyond the day I found out why.

Definition of Emptiness

Published August 29, 2014 in Daily Reflections - 0 Comments

Empty is _____.

…What do you think?

I witnessed nothing new or inspiring on Friday, and fear a “normal” existance has returned. I ate at the same restaurant for lunch, worked among the same people, witnessed the same similar conflicts at work. Perhaps I am allowing myself to listen to others more than myself, but that would be selfish, right? Even with positive encouragement over the past ten days, I received one message that lingers in the back of my mind. I don’t even remember who sent it, but it was along the lines of, “Your period of reflection is going to end, and you’ll return to normal.”

Looking around, I struggle to empathize with what normal is. What am I to return to, if I never was? Where do I find normal people in my community? I see a deer hunter sticker on the truck next to me as I contemplate normal on my drive after work. If I kill a deer, will I be normal with this group? What about the rough part of town, where the color of my skin and brand of my clothes makes me stand out as an outlier? How can I possibly be normal there?

I feel empty, but I don’t even know what needs to be refilled to get my reflections back.

Christopher Plummer says, in his upcoming film, “We should concern ourselves not so much with the pursuit of happiness but with the happiness of pursuit.” I’m just not sure what I need to be pursuing, other than getting back to work, keeping tabs on my health, and paying down my debts to others that haven’t gone away… Hmm, that sounds normal. And empty.